2025 Dirty Pecan, Monticello FL, March 1st!

Hush Money Fall Fuckaround

November 28 2025
Lancaster PA
Unconfirmed
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Distances: 35, 55 miles
Difficulty: Moderate terrain with rolling short steep hills or moderate, sustained climbs

Boy howdy, it's Fall Fuckaround time again! This year we're riding to benefit The Lancaster Conservancy whose mission is “providing wild and forested lands and clean waterways for our community. Forever.” We spend a lot of time enjoying these lands and we wanna chip in. 

Morning of:

We have plenty of space at our disposal. If it's gross outside, we can start and finish inside Cabalar where it's dry and warm. Cabalar has outdoor seating, but it never hurts to bring a lawn chair if you plan to hang around for a while. Our friends at Breeo Smokeless Fire Pits are bringing some heat and Cabalar will be open afterwards with the best burgers you've ever had. 

We'll be starting at the shop, 414 N. Mary Street, Lancaster. There is plenty of free street parking in every direction around the shop. If it's raining and you need a dry staging area, there is a reasonably priced parking garage just a few blocks away at 220 N. Water Street, Lancaster. Our friends at Endo Coffee will have the coffee trailer there to keep you warm and caffeinated before we shove off. If you're looking for a full breakfast, Prince Street Cafe will be open at 7am and Lancaster's Central Market will be open at 6am. If you've never been, Central Market is the social hub of Lancaster and is worth getting up a little early to see. Whatever you do, be at the shop by 9:30 and be ready to roll at 10:00. 

The ride:

There are two courses, however both courses also have an alternate route for folks with road bikes (and road bike shoes.) All courses are linked below. There are no course markings, please download the course to a computer or use Ride With GPS. You will have phone reception the entire day, so if things get fucky, just find your way home using your phone. 

The long course has a substantial (3/4 mile?) hike-a-bike section, non-road shoes are highly recommended. Both courses follow the length of Suzy's Hole, which is light singletrack with a couple very easy creek crossings. The only aid station on the day is immediately after the Suzy's/Trolley Road trail section. Mom and Dad von Fancypants will be serving up the treats. 

After the aid station there's a short section of chunky railroad ballast, then a bunch of miles of some of the most beautiful rail trail anywhere. While on the rail trail, riders will cross the new Safe Harbor bridge, which provides expansive views of the Susquehanna River. After leaving the rail trail, you'll wind through Millersville and back to the  shop. 

Long Course: https://ridewithgps.com/routes/38049384

Long Course (Road): https://ridewithgps.com/routes/41451896

Short Course: https://ridewithgps.com/routes/41098048

Short Course (Road): https://ridewithgps.com/routes/41451829

The Dirtbag After-Party:

Our friends at Breeo are sending smokeless fire pits over for us to stand around. Cabalar will be open with the meats and the non-meats (OMG SRSLY the falafel burger is a revelation), and Lancaster celebrity Drew Bell will be there to regale us with stories over the fire pits. We are hoping Lancaster's new vegan spot, Bad Kitchen, will be open in time for the Fuckaround. The Pennsylvania Dirtbags will be there too- we have no idea what they have planned, and for liability's sake, we don't want to know. 

The Big Dumb Awards Show and Raffle:

Back for 2024: The Bill & Ted Awards for Excellence in the field of Being Excellent. The trophies are recycled. The awards have no value. But GOSH DARNIT the sentiment is real. Last year the Yinzer contingent went home with the most hardware. Awards include, but are not limited to: The Sarah Woshe Award for General Gangstery, The Leo Quisimbing Spirit of Gravel Award, Most Improved, Least Improved, Best Dressed, Worst Bike, Worst Dressed, Best Bike, Best Colors (a likely repeat win for Linette here?) and Least Offensive Odor. Also back for 2024 is the Highest Finisher award, although the homies from Action Wheels will be hard to beat here. (Last year they finished so high that they left the trophy on the roof of their team car and drove off with it up there, never to be seen again.) Other awards categories will be decided on the fly. 

Raffle tickets will be sold throughout the day, with winners being announced after the awards ceremonies. Some raffle items require you to be present to win, some items will be available to anyone who enters. Raffle proceeds benefit The Lancaster Conservancy.  

Hush Money Fall Fuckaround

 
Start Located At: 414 N Mary St, Lancaster, PA 17603
 
 
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